Father of the Year Exposed as a Fraud

PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- How quickly things can change. Just ask the latest recipient of the Father of the Year award, Alec Brown. Just four days ago this unknown father of two received an unexpected call from the editors of Woman’s Day, catapulting him temporarily into the limelight. The editors notified him that he had been selected for the award on the strength of a blog entry posted by his wife earlier in the week. Her glowing reports made Brown sound like the perfect husband—cooking, cleaning, giving back-rubs on demand, and on and on.

Brown’s reply should have been the first clue that all was not as it seemed. “Really? She said that about me?” were the first words out of his mouth.

Brown on the cover of Woman'sDay

Brown was immediately booked for the talk show circuit, but his house of cards came tumbling down before he could realize his dream of meeting the glorious Oprah Winfrey. One day after the article ran in Woman’s Day, People magazine and the Star ran exposés—apparently they didn’t have to dig deep to find dirt.

Brown had been painted as some kind of transgendered, multi-tasking soccer mom that was constantly running his children from one activity to another. But information obtained from acquaintances painted another picture.

“If [Alec] has an internal clock, it’s a sundial and there is a permanent eclipse in his brain.” Said one of his friends.

Yes, Brown takes his daughter to ballet, but you won’t see him drag her into the room on time. No matter what time he gets up, he still manages to be late. And the same pattern holds true for everything. Brown hasn’t been on time to church since April 4^th, 1999, recently leading physicists to theorize that if Brown was actually early to an event the universe’s time continuum may be thrown out of balance and existence as we know it would cease altogether.

Brown's downfall began with this article in People Magazine.

Getting his kids to the right place at the right time isn’t the only problem. There is also the matter of appearance. The first week that Brown took his daughter to ballet class her hair was so disheveled that the instructors mistook her for a gypsy girl begging for spare change.

And Brown’s ‘greatness’ seems to have been overreported in other areas as well. Yes, he has been known to clean the house, but only if he has 80’s rock music blasting at ungodly levels while he does it. Not only is this music extremely lame, there is little doubt that the exposure is making his children dumber by the moment.

Brown’s lackluster parenting skills are more than just opinion. Dr. Samantha Davis, from Harvard’s School of Social Sciences, says that her research shows that children are 44% more likely to fall off of a bed or table when under Brown’s care. And video documentation clearly indicates that Brown shed more tears during a Lavell Edwards documentary than at his children’s births. Some say that the only great thing that Brown does is sweat a great deal. Other rumors say that the real reason Brown went back to school was because he was too lazy to hold down a real job.

Following this firestorm of disappointing revelations Woman’s Day has retracted their award. Now the only thing that remains to be seen is whether Mrs. Brown will follow suit.

Why I love Alec

So, I know I give Alec a hard time (we have determined that teasing is our language of love), but I honestly know how lucky I am. These pictures illustrate one of the reasons why I got the cream of the crop. We signed Lily and Eric up for summer classes through our local recreation department and I have had to work on that day, so Alec gets them up, often cooks breakfast for them, and takes them to class. The amazing thing here is that he even does Lily's hair--I don't think he would do this normally, but she honestly looks like an orphan if her hair is left to its own devices. The middle picture illustrates how fun and creative he is. I came home and he had helped Eric build a suspension bridge out of mega blocks, paper, and string. He is always doing fun things with our kids and I really appreciate that because I often get bogged down in just keeping things running smoothly. Oh, and he always has the house clean when I come home from work--I know ladies, you are shaking your heads, but it is true. What a great guy!

BUMWAR!!!

This clip is a little bit old, and those of you who have seen Audrey's blog will already be familiar with the scenario, but it may still be good for a chuckle. This is a dueling method developed by Aunt Katie. Not only is it good for a larf, it is also an extremely effective method for resolving family conflicts.

"DAAAAD!!! Lily took my Thomas train"

"No. Mine." Replies Lily.

"I had it first!"

"Alright, you can bum war for rights to the train," I wisely reply.

Yes, this may be a bit unfair to those like Lily, who are of inferior physical stature. Yes, this may mean that the largest, most aggressive member of the family is able to terrorize and rule the home with an iron arse. However, it does simplify the whole "parenting" process for me. I dare say I rule with wisdom not unlike King Solomon, but you be the judge . . .

A Few Pictures

It's been awhile since we have made any posts. And you are all waiting on pins and needles for our next post, right? Maybe not, but here are a few recent pictures nevertheless.

Special Blog Book Review

You should definitely read this book. You should definitely NOT read this book at the gym, a doctor's waiting room, at church, or anywhere else where laughing aloud to yourself will earn you some curious glances. Let me just say that I made this mistake and there are now several people who won't be stair stepping next to me anytime soon.
I must admit, even though the author is a dear friend of mine and I know how extremely talented she is as an author (ie Yearbook, First Day, The Mom's Club Diaries), I was still prepared to have to do some pretty heavy suspending of disbelief to buy into the plot of this story. Milo is a typical 15 year old boy who decides to do something atypical with his life--run for President of the United States! However, despite my reservations I was immediately drawn into the story and the fact that Condie made it actually seem possible for a teenager to make a significant difference on such a grand scale.
But that is only a small part of what makes this story so clever and touching. Milo not only takes on a rigorous campaign, but he does it while coming to terms with some serious emotional issues that touch the lives of those he cares for the most.
This book resonated with me and I believe it will resonate with anyone who reads it. I think that readers will relate to Milo's struggle to know how to help a sister who is struggling with emotional issues, while dealing with some of his own. I also thought that Condie's treatment of life and death issues was very real and timeless.
The plot moves at a good pace and is full of humorous banter, believable relationships, inspiring ideas, and beautiful symbolism. Through it all, Milo's character development is a potent illustration of how we really are the product not only of our experiences, but how we choose to handle them. Milo is definitely my favorite candidate this year!